Allison Holker: ‘Now My Purpose Is Different’
29.02.2024 - 16:05
/ glamour.com
Content warning: This first-person story with Allison Holker includes discussions of trauma and suicide.If I could go back in time to a little over a year ago and tell myself anything, it would be this: You’ll be able to feel love again.
You will.
It is a different kind of love…a love from life, from nature, from friendships, from peers, from my children.
But you will feel love again.
And I do.But my whole life was flipped upside down.
You feel like everything’s taken from you.
You sit in this weird pocket of life, asking yourself, “What is all this? Why?” I didn’t know what was happening in the moment, let alone what would happen in my future.I had never seen a therapist before this.
Never.
But having a therapist was really beneficial, just having someone to open up to, but also receiving advice on how to handle things, especially in a really public setting.
Part of that is because I’ve never been a person to need to ask for help in my life, ever.
And oddly enough, something I realized very shortly into this grief and trauma was that people actually got really offended that I didn’t ask for help.
They wanted to help, but what they didn’t realize is since I’m someone who doesn’t usually ask for help, so they were now asking me to find a way to ask them to do something.
Not to mention, I also didn’t know what I needed help with because I’m such a to-do oriented person.
No idea.But what I learned is that it’s important for people to just do something.
Just make a choice and do something, because it will always be seen by someone that cares.
It’ll always be seen.
And it always meant something.
For instance, my oldest brother made me and the kids breakfast every morning.