‘Super Mario Bros.’ review: Lousy Nintendo movie goes down the drain
05.04.2023 - 22:55
/ nypost.com
voiced by Chris Pratt) and Luigi (Charlie Day) work as plumbers.It’s a realistic setting. I spot mustachioed guys wearing overalls in Williamsburg all the time.But perhaps the boys would be better off selling artisan beard oil on Bedford, because they’re not very good with their socket wrenches.
One bully calls the duo “Brooklyn’s favorite failures.”Their cringy, “It’s-a me!” Italian accents, we learn, were briefly faked for a “Ghostbusters”-style commercial to hawk their struggling business. But in reality, they talk like normal, very boring dudes.
And, rising to the occasion, Pratt and Day provide their characters with very boring voices.While trying to fix a water main break downtown, the pair are sucked into a magic pipe and whisked to the world of Princess Peach (Anya Taylor-Joy), Bowser (Jack Black) and Toad (Keegan-Michael Key). It’s a kind of “The Lion, The Witch and the Nintendo” situation.Mario winds up in Peach’s Mushroom Kingdom, while Luigi is plopped in the Dark Lands that Bowser lords over.
Mario enlists the princess’ help to find his brother, and she asks him and Toad to protect her and her people from evil Bowser, who wants to get married to her. In New York, they’re talentless plumbers — here, they’re heroes.All the characters say make moronic comments that aren’t funny enough to be called jokes.For instance, Bowser announces to the audience’s silence: “I am now the most powerful turtle in the world! Soon we will arrive at the Mushroom Kingdom!” And the princess isn’t exactly a MENSA candidate, either.
“There’s a huge universe out there,” she says. “With a lot of galaxies.” On their predictable quest, they team up with Donkey Kong (Seth Rogen), drive on the rainbow road and use power-up cubes from the
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