Lewis Capaldi launches pizza company, Big Sexy Pizza
29.09.2022 - 13:07
/ completemusicupdate.com
Sourdough. You all started making it in lockdown, didn’t you? You got hold of a starter from somewhere. Maybe you fermented one yourself, or found it in a ditch or something.
Then you baked like your life depended on it. And what did you do then? You posted pictures on social media, didn’t you?But not one of you – not fucking one of you – thought to turn that hobby into a frozen pizza business with repeat orders from two nationwide supermarket chains. And that’s why none of you will ever even be half the person Lewis Capaldi is.
You sicken me.I mean, for fuck’s sake, when the second lockdown lifted you stopped making bread altogether, didn’t you? That hobby you were so proud of, you dropped it like a stone. Or an overbaked loaf. Just fucking gave up on it the moment we were allowed back in the pub again.
And I think that says a lot about your priorities. Just a lot about you as a person in general, in fact. And yes, I am still talking to all of you.
Un-fucking-believable.Right, anyway, I’m supposed to be telling you about these pizzas that Lewis Capaldi has been making. It’s just that, right, yes, I know people had a lot of time on their hands in lockdown and baking filled some of that time. It’s only bread though.
I don’t know why you were so amazed that following a bread recipe resulted in you having bread in your house. It’s just bread. Just because you made it by rotting some flour in a cup doesn’t make you special.
You still didn’t start a pizza business, did you?Lewis Capaldi did though. A pizza business! And he’s not selling those pizzas out of the back of his car at a farmers market like you probably would, if you even had one morsel of ingenuity or ambition. No, he’s selling them in Tesco AND Iceland.