‘Broken’ Nick Cannon Honors Late Son Zen on ‘Painful’ 1 Year Anniversary of His Death

06.12.2022 - 03:39 / usmagazine.com

An impossible day. Nick Cannon opened up about dealing with the loss of his and Alyssa Scott’s son, Zen, on the one-year anniversary of his tragic death. 

“Physically, I’m definitely on the mend but Mentally and Spiritually I’m broken,” Cannon, 42, wrote via Instagram on Monday, December 5, alongside a sweet snap of himself cradling the little one. “Been tossing and turning all night, and as much as I know I need rest, last night I couldn’t sleep at all. I can’t believe it’s been a year already since the toughest day of my life occurred. Such a painful anniversary.”

He continued, “Losing a child has to be the heaviest, most dark and depressive experiences that I will never get over. A mixture of guilt, pain, and sorrow is what I suppress daily.”

Cannon shared that while he’s “far from perfect” and often makes “decisions in my life that many question,” his heart has always been in the right place.

“I love hard, I love big and I love with my entire Heart and Soul and I just wish my Little Man could’ve felt more of that love while he was here on Earth,” he said. 

The Masked Singer host and the model, 29, welcomed son Zen in June 2021. Five months later, Scott shared that the newborn had died after a battle with brain cancer. 

“Oh my sweet Zen. The soreness I felt in my arm from holding you is slowly fading away. It’s a painful reminder that you are no longer here,” she wrote via Instagram at the time of the little one’s death. “I caught myself looking in the backseat as I was driving only to see the mirror no longer reflecting your perfect face back at me. When I close a door too loudly I hold my breath and wince knowing a soft cry will shortly follow. It doesn’t come. The silence is deafening.”

Over the past year, Cannon has