25 of the best jokes and one liners by Scottish comedians

jobs crisis.The former PM said Boris Johnson is "blissfully unaware" of the need to reach out to devolved administrations.

“We have made careful considerations to ensure that the Schoeller branded face masks we produce are in-line with regulations for use in medical settings as we plan to distribute the masks to NHS suppliers, as well as sell to the general public and wholesale retailers. “Excellent communication, trusted advice and fast service from the team at Royal Bank of Scotland enabled the expansion, which we hope will help reduce the spread of coronavirus.” David McIntosh, relationship director at Royal

Ayrshire has recorded its biggest COVID-19 case increase since June.

quarantine as of Saturday, Justice Secretary Humza Yousaf has said.Portugal's government expressed anger when the country was placed on the quarantine list when it was created at the beginning of July.But the country's number of cases dropped in the past week to 14.38 cases per 100,000 people, compared to 15 per 100,000 the week before - and has not been over 20 per 100,000 since the week of 15-22 July.The news comes as Austria, Croatia, Switzerland and Trinidad and Tobago were added to the

Ingredients 4 Scottish Salmon Fillets 2g Chilli Powder 1g Ground Ginger 40ml Soy Sauce 40ml Sweet Chilli Sauce Zest and juice of 1 Lime 250g sachet Cooked Basmati Rice 150g pack Sweet Peppers 4 Spring Onions 2 Cloves of Garlic 1 medium Carrot 40g Frozen Peas 2 level tsp Chilli Flakes 5g Fresh Coriander Scottish Rapeseed Oil to fry Method Mix the chilli powder and ginger together, sprinkle over the salmon fillets and put to one side.

PAISLEY DAILY EXPRESS: Live news as it happens Scotland’s walking charity Paths for All is sharing inspirational stories that encapsulate the physical and mental benefits walking has had on those coping with a variety of challenges during lockdown.The charity hopes the ten moving tales will encourage people to keep walking and convince others to take up walking every day.Inspired by the famous digital photography project, Humans of New York, the campaign brings to life stories of love,

house, Scots may not pay much attention to the street name.Research by SellHouseFast has revealed that the first line of your address can actually make a difference on how much your house is worth.In fact, having a ‘rude’ street name can boost the property's value by up to £56,000.Dick, Bush, Cumming and Pratt are the top naughty road names in Scotland that can add a hefty sum to a home's worth.Other rude streets in the UK include Jackass, Hoe, Cock and Thong.Butt, Beaver, Busty and Spank are

stars and meteor showers. The annual Perseids showers in August see up to 100 meteors light up the sky an hour and is caused by the Earth slamming into debris left behind by a comet.

beer in the UK – with some drinkers paying 86p less than the national average.Lucky drinkers in Dundee have the cheapest pints in the country, paying just £3.08 compared to the UK average of £3.94.Perth is next cheapest at £3.14, followed by Inverness, where a jar costs £3.73, while in Aberdeen the same measure is £3.86.But expect little change out of a fiver in Edinburgh, Britain’s fourth most expensive city for pints which cost £4.74 on average.The Scottish capital is only outdone by London

Rowan Atkinson is among the high-profile figures to have signed a letter expressing opposition to the Scottish Government’s Hate Crime Bill.

limit freedom of expression.The comedy legend has joined more than 20 prominent cultural figures in signing a letter which calls on Holyrood ministers to make significant changes to the new legislation.Artists who have previously backed independence are also among those to sign, including crime writer Val McDermid, actress Elaine C Smith, and playwright Alan Bissett.Justice secretary Humza Yousaf has said the Hate Crime bill would strike the right balance between respecting freedom of speech and

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Get the stories that interest you straight to your inbox every day with our personalised newsletterAyrshire and Arran has recorded its biggest rise in coronavirus cases in 17 days.Latest figures from the Scottish Government put the pandemic total for the health board area at 1,282 - a rise of two on yesterday's figures.The last time Ayrshire recorded such a rise was on July 23 when cases jumped from 1,270 to 1,272 in 24 hours.Across Scotland, 48 new cases have been detected in the last 24 hours,

He said: “I’m really happy to be able to support Scottish Refugee Council and all the work they do helping refugees rebuild their lives in Scotland.“We are hoping the items attract plenty of attention and raise lots of money.”Louise McGovern from Scottish Refugee Council said: “We are delighted to work with Lewis on this fundraiser, his support has been amazing, and we know his huge fan base will be thrilled to be in with a chance to meet him at a UK gig next year.”

Scotland, it comes with a range of benefits we don't often think about.We wouldn't be able to make our globally renowned national drink without it and our famed scenery wouldn't be as dramatic if it wasn't for our regular downpours.In fact, some of our favourite landmarks, Scotland's incredible waterways, rivers and lochs, might not exist in more sunnier climates.So to remind us of how good we have it, and to help us forget why we don't have a tan, here are some of the country's most

Gordon Ramsay has shared a simple recipe to spicy sausage rice - and fans are going wild over it.The TV chef cooked up a storm in the kitchen as he revealed how to make the mouthwatering dish.Fans are now hailing the Scot's recipe, which is from one of his cook book's, as 'his best yet'.In a Facebook tutorial, Gordon said the taste-tingling dish takes "spicy Italian sausage to a completely different level."He added: "The secret to making great food is to ensure you you lock in every last ounce